By the moon's light

A meditation practice can be so many things - a few quiet moments to sit in stillness, a peaceful start to your day, time to focus on everything, or nothing :). Last night, during meditation, I was visited by a memory, I'd long forgotten.

In 1983, I was in third grade. The school I went to was in the suburbs, while I lived in the town. Yes, I was bussed. Bussing meant I went to a school further away than the school down the road. I did make friends and was always excited to be invited to the birthday parties of my classmates. This meant not only did my mom have to buy gifts for all of these parties, but she also had to drive me, without the help of GPS, to all of these neighborhoods she had never heard of before, or been anywhere near.

One party, in particular, came to mind. I remember never before being in such a large private residence. It was like one of our modern day McMansions, but way before these developments were appearing in every former farmer's field. I can still see the sunlight streaming through her bedroom windows. Everything was white, and bright, and new. It was the first time I had ever seen wall to wall carpeting, literally from every wall to every wall. It was the first time everyone of us got a gift. Yes, a gift! Many years before I had ever heard the term party favor, I was given a gift for just going to the party. It was a doll. A scented doll, like Strawberry Shortcake and her friends. There were holes in their plastic limbs. I can still recall the sweet, plastic-like scent of berries that emitted from those holes, at her armpits, and knees.

After this experience, of course I wanted a party of my own! With my birthday being in December, my mom wanted to try avoiding Christmas... too close to the holiday, she said, no one will come. As an adult, I look back and realize that money was tight. A birthday party and Christmas in the same month?! How was she going to pull that off? I got my way. She made it happen. She made the cake that I wanted, and my friends were invited. It was the first I would have that only friends were invited. This was not a family party. Somehow, I'm not remembering anyone attending. Was it because it was too close to Christmas? Was it because my friends lived in beautiful suburban homes and I lived in a row home, in the town. I'll never really know. I remember receiving one gift, that I think someone dropped off - couldn't stay for whatever reason- it was a cardboard dollhouse play set. The dolls were all shrinky-dinks that I got to color and bake.

Like I said, meditation is for many things. This one gave me a reflection on a key moment in my life. A memory that I would have thought long forgotten was still there, in the recesses of my mind. Now is the time for me to reflect on all of those feelings and how those moments from long ago have shaped my life today.