Dead sounds so final, doesn’t it? When I entered my mom’s apartment, and found her on the floor, I knew. I grabbed my phone and called 911, because that’s what we’re supposed to do, right? When asked what my emergency was, I said, “I think my mom is gone”. I didn’t say dead, and I wouldn’t say dead for a long time.
How many funeral programs have I seen that said sunrise – sunset? So and so departed this earth, went home, went to be with the Lord… If someone goes home to be with the Lord, does that imply that no one is with the Lord, while living? What about the poem “footprints”? You know the one that says when there was only one set of footprints is when we were carried through a tough time, by Jesus? I remember seeing that for the first time on a candle that we sold for an elementary school fundraiser. It was such a serene, beautiful image. As inspirational as it is, I’m guessing that nothing with “Footprints” is sold as elementary school fundraisers anymore. Life is confusing.
But I was so caught up in the verbiage that I refused to say that my mom died. I remember that brief pause, ever occurring, always like a blow to the chest. Whenever I had to express what had actually happened, my phrase of choice was "passed away". But where is away? Where did she go? Were people looking at me through my trauma, knowing that my mom had died, but thinking I was in some kind of denial because I couldn’t bring myself to say the “D” word? What about late? Why on earth is that even a term for the deceased?
To me, died was permanent. That wasn’t right. I would never believe that my mom was permanently not here. That’s just not possible. She would never leave me – leave us. She said so all the time, “Only the good die young, so I’ll be here forever”.
To be totally honest, I was slightly offended when speaking with a psychic medium and she constantly referred to my mom as dead. What does dead even mean? Google defines dead as “no longer alive”. Well, that’s definitely not true! We always say that our loved ones are alive in our hearts. Don't we? That can't be wrong, right?
I was determined to make sense of it all, and she was determined to help me from the other side 😊. I started hearing my mom’s voice in my head and instead of thinking that I could be losing my mind, I tapped into my gift and became a psychic medium. This helped me tremendously (and now I help others)!
Since becoming a medium, I’m able to say dead. I no longer see it as a bad word. It took a few years for me to be able to say that my mom died. Now I know it doesn’t mean that she’s gone, because she certainly isn’t. Her body is dead, but her spirit lives on. Now I’m able to share that some of my favorite people are dead. I still do not refer to clients’ loved ones as dead, because I remember firsthand how that word felt so raw to me. Do me a favor and blow a kiss to all of your loved ones in Spirit (see what I did there?). I assure you; they will blow one back to you.
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